When you have herpes, it’s important to let your partner know of your condition. As soon as you learn of your status, make preparations on how to disclose the information to him or her. Since herpes is transmitted through sexual activities, kissing or even oral sex, you have to take caution from then onwards.

However, it’s important to disclose the news to him in the right way. Herpes news is a weighty subject.


Here are ten steps to follow so that you confess your herpes infection to your spouse in the right manner without causing panicking and shock:


  1. Get your facts right

Prior to talking about your genital herpes condition to him, make sure you learn about the disease yourself. That is because as soon as you deliver the dreading news, he’ll bombard you with so many questions.  Digging deeply about cold sores and genital herpes will see you answer the questions with ease. Particularly gets your facts right about the following;

  • What causes the infection?
  • Symptoms
  • Howe it is transmitted
  • Effects of the disease
  • Is it curable or manageable?
  • Tips on how to live with the herpes disease.
  1. Get your setting right

Since it involves serious issues, you have to pick on the right setting and time. You want to have the maximum attention out of your partner. Such a location should have minimum distraction and provide for privacy. You should both feel safe in your chosen location. For example you could go n a beach walk or evening stroll. Better still if your house is private enough, make a dinner and invite him over.

  1. Schedule the meeting or the talk before having sex

Avoid waiting when you are just about to get intimate on bed to rush on with the delivering the message. Whether it’s a new relationship or an ongoing one, you have to disclose the message about herpes before having sex. It’s your partner’s right and moreover it will inspire trust in the relationship. He can then make up his mind after absorbing the news

  1. Deliver the facts when you are composed

Obviously your partner will be studying you keenly while you are delivering the dreadful message about herpes infection. Your facial expression and general body language then matters a lot. If terror or fear is painted on your face and supported by your body language, then you will surely scare your date. In a way, it will be the unspoken message on how fatal the disease is. However many people have herpes knowingly or unknowingly. Moreover the infection is manageable through treatments like antiviral. Under medications, the symptoms and attacks are suppressed. So you have no reason of scaring your date.

  1. Pick on a light and positive conversation starter

It’s important to begin the conversation on alight and optimistic note. For example, you can trace on how you have rocked together smoothly, how trustworthy she has been and so you also wish to reciprocate the trust she has bestowed on you. Then drop speak out about the herpes infection.

6. Lighten the talk by avoiding negative language

Remember you want to deliver the message in the most subtle way possible. Consequently use lighter term. For instance the term herpes infection is better than herpes disease.  Using the term sexually transmitted infections send the message of a condition that can easily be managed.

7. Respond to any question your partner shoots with sincerity

Most likely your date will respond to the confession by raising many questions. Be sincere and answer all the questions that you can handle. It’s all about making him understand the infection and the situation the relationship is getting into. Most probably he’ll be interested in the treatment options. You can also refer him or her on where to learn more about the infection.

  1. Approach the conversation with an open mind

Your intention should be informing your partner on your situation and allowing him to make a personal decision about the situation. Your dating partner can either choose to go on or break the relationship. As such do not try to influence his decision. Above all give him time to reflect on the delivered message. Do not demand for an immediate reaction.

  1. If you have began on any treatment plan, inform your partner too

There are various treatment options for herpes. For example treatment on minimizing the pain from the sores, drugs to prevent frequent outbreaks and quick healing of the sores. Make plain to your partner about the various kinds of treatment you have signed into. It is one way of encouraging him to go for testing since the disease is manageable.

  1. If he agrees to go on with the relationship walk him through the safe sex tips

If you both agree to continue with the relationship, then highlight your spouse about the safe sex tips for the herpes positive people. For instance the importance of abstain from sex during herpes outbreak.


Although hard, confessing to your partner that you have herpes is very important. Consequently, take your time to plan carefully on how to deliver the message. But never coerce your date into the affair if he can’t stand the infection.

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